In about 3 months I am scheduled to be in Peru, going up the Amazon to jungle villages to deliver healthcare to the people there. I have wanted to go on this trip for months...until now. My son's prom is during that time, and while it seems petty to give up the chance to help others for a child's prom for God's sake, I just don't feel right about missing it. I will also be missing his spring concert. I already missed his fall talent show to go to Peru on a mission trip. How could the timing of this trip suck so completely? Mother guilt. It isn't like I couldn't go on another trip--mission trips are easy to come by if you are willing to pay to go...I had wanted to go on this trip primarily to travel and work with this particular group of people again...but now that seems like a small and insignificant reason to disappoint my son. And it would--he specifically asked me not to go--not to miss his prom. And to be truthful, I just don't feel like I have it in me to go this time. So I feel like a selfish bitch. Still, another pediatrician is going on this trip, so it is not like I would be leaving them high and dry--I just wouldn't be traveling with my old group. But, I somehow sense that the dynamics of the group would not be the same now anyway--hell, only 2 of us even sent Christmas Cards to each other...its not like we have a lifelong attachment.
Guilt. My lifelong companion. It sucks.
5 comments:
That's a tough one. Proms are never really all that swell, and you may find it comforting to know that I reminisce over mine. Can you go ahead and schedule another trip? Meeting a new group of folks could be lovely. Just be sure not to do anything that might lead to http://epatre.blogspot.com/2009/02/disappointment.html
That was supposed to read: I NEVER reminisce over mine. NEVER. EVER.
Actually, there is a trip to Cambodia in November that has tickled my fancy...
mom-
how could you ever feel like a selfish bitch? that is the absolute most ridculous thing I have read in a really long time. And I watched Jesse edit the RA newsletter last night, and I can ASSURE you I read PLENTY of ridiculous. Everything you do with your life is always about others-your kids, your friends, your animals, your friends animals, your kid's friend's animals, your patients, the peruvians...
Reading between the lines, it seems like this trip isn't the right trip for you. I seem to remember you being skeptical about it at first as well. It just doesn't seem like the universe wants you in Peru that partiular week.
Stick around for Prom, you'll be glad you did and you'll be miserable if you miss it.
I love you.
reading between the lines it says - watch your son go to the prom...he may not remember...but you will....and then go to Baltimore with me...talk about selfish@@@@@@@@@@@
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