I am so ready for spring. February always saps me in ways I don't understand...drains me of my energy from the very deepest depths of my being. I feel fat, lethargic, pale and pasty. Worse, I feel worthless and empty. This year I have added the desperate desire to sleep--hours and hours on end, interrupted by my thoughts that the only way to ever really get my house in order would be to simply move out of it and leave it all behind. I guess I am in a funk. Couple this February angst with the inevitable realization of just how quickly time is flying by--how just last spring it seems I was taking toddlers to ride horses and practice T-ball and now I am handing them condoms and praying to God that they use them. Sigh. I watch myself disappear in importance from my children's lives and wonder if it is supposed to feel this way. It is wearying, this aging thing. I really don't know that I have the strength for it.